Lady Chouette

Long Tea Break

2011-01-03T19:49:00.004Z

I don't to talk about, I have just neglected you, and I'm sorry blog. Someone I know, has inspired me to just write a hello, to this lovely blog. So that's what this is.

A hello.

From me to me.

perdu et retrouve

2010-03-30T14:35:00.008+01:00

I love children's books. Immensely. I used to work in a bookstore, in the children's book section, it wasn't a very nice bookstore, but the picture books were. I think picture books are the most carefully crafted books there are. So much care and attention is paid to a good picture book. There are few words so each one should be earn it's place there. And so much space for the pictures, my favourite thing is a picture full of charm, and tiny details hidden in each corner.

I can still remember the books from my childhood, mrs pigs bulk buy, the jolly postman, bramley hedge... and i delight in finding new picture books that are full of that level of care and attention. Lost and Found by Oliver Jeffers is one of those. From start to finish it is funny, charming and delightful. It makes you want to read over immediately, and stare at each page endlessly. It is about a little boy and his lost penguin. And that should be enough to draw you in.

And as i was waiting for someone the other day, i found myself in the picture book section of the wondeful foyles. And i came across the above, the amazing, Reflections of a Solitary Hamster by Astrid Desbordes and Pauline Martin. I think it was in French originally, and it is about an arrogant hamster who is having a party, and his friends mole, snail, hedgehog and rabbit. He also writes a diary in which he lies about the brilliant things that are happening to him. It made me laugh out loud, and although the pictures aren't as heartwarming as Lost and Found, it has an odd charm of its own.

You can find more about Oliver Jeffers here and even buy prints of his beautiful work. I do also read books without pictures, big ones, with loads of words that gather admiring glances on the tube. But nothing quite delights me as disappearing into a picture book. Like falling down the rabbit hole, but coming out after 5 minutes without having to fight Helena Bonham Carter.

penguin hug from here.

i've been driving in my car

2010-03-29T15:54:00.003+01:00

It's not a jaguar.

And i don't look like this.

Also it was my first ever driving lesson, so i sort of drove and sat at the side of roads, checking mirrors. It's taken me a very, very long time to book a driving lesson, and it will probably take me a very, very long time to learn but I'm so pleased i've started this road trip.

glamour from here via we heart it

shortcut

2010-02-05T14:42:00.003Z

today i had my hair cut.

Nothing too special there?
Short.
Shorter than i have had it in ages.
And now my neck is really cold, for so long a mass of curls and matted clumps of mess have kept me warm and wrapped away from the world, that feeling this bare is an odd and exhilarating. Is this how men feel all the time? Their bare necks chilled for all to see?
As he cut it i felt sick, as if i was doing something mad. It's only hair i had to think. But we all know that's not true. It's more than that. My old hair made me look like a victorian child, which i liked, as if i wasn't quite walking in this world. My new hair is definitely part of now. Which is a good thing, and probably why i did it.

short here.

Double Life

2009-12-10T10:30:00.004Z

Well, obviously it's been too long, so like old lovers let's not discuss that, it'll be awkward. The only reason i'm back, is after many months I am finally sat at an office desk again, answering phones and typing in data. It's been a long time since I answered to my real name, and found clothes that said nothing about me. A long time since i blended into the sea of black wool coats that swim towards the oyster barriers each morning. All of us grim faced, tired, and basically walking asleep towards hundreds of offices waiting for us to sit and stare at screens.

I mean it's not so bad. I could be melancholy about it, or I could accept it's what I have to do at the moment. Which is fine. It's just an adjustment. There is nothing stranger than, making tea for people and typing numbers into boxes for pie charts and then distantly remembering that it wasn't long ago you were whirling around on a stage in front of 100 people, pretending to be a dead woman, or dancing to the charleston while schoolchildren gasped. Not that these worlds are so far apart, i'm not working in a cotton factory now, but it's a strange existence, to do a job for just long enough to feel like this is how your life will now be.

I act under a different name, due to being too young when someone made me choose, so the two personalties of actor and 'normal' person always take me a while to switch from. And the nature of theatre being it's temporary-ness, so even if you stand on the streets and insist of screaming to people that you were once in a show and it was funny, like those girls wrapped up in their hemogenous coats, they would simply blink and ignore you. Not that you want attention of course. I guess it's like people knowing it's your birthday, you don't want to shout it out loud, but if no one says anything it's a bit sad, that's why there are badges, clearly stating 'it's my birthday'.

Perhaps I should get one saying 'i am actually an actor'.

Or maybe just 'look at me'.

Pics from Sabino via here.

bear

2009-10-06T00:21:00.000+01:00

Just wanted to share the original and the best duffel coat wearer there has been.

paddington

2009-10-06T00:15:00.001+01:00

I have a new coat. It's this but in black. I'm on tour at the moment, which can at times feel magical, wonderful, lonely, cold, hard and faraway from all that you love. So at these times, i am snuggling into this coat from topshop and hiding myself deep inside it. And so far it's worked.

the continuing life...

2009-09-07T22:37:00.005+01:00

...of a busy person.

It's odd to be busy, so much of this blog used to be about procrastination, that to have no time even to write it feels like an oxymoron. But i have decided to be kind and write when i can and not feel bad, so stop making me feel bad please. that's my brain not you invisible reader.

I am currently in rehearsals for my next show, gosh like a proper actor with a job. Currently i spend the day with bandages around my legs, pretending to be a russian scientist in the 20s. Some jobs require too much explanation.

Today in the process of research i found out Benjamin Franklin wired up his house with lightning bells, that would ring as he conducted electricity into the house, through a series of kites. And on stormy nights the house would ring with bells and his wife would ask him to disconnect it. I like the image of an electric house, charged to it's limit, with all it's occupants unaware of the danger.

Which got me thinking about the fire festival we saw in Fuji, the streets were filled with small pyres, burning stacks of logs, while either side of the road were stall upon stall selling, bright pink toffee apples, noodles, and pikachu shaped donuts. And occcasionally the logs would collapse, spilling flames onto the tarmac, children jumping out of the way squealing with fear and delight. Then the men in green fire shrouds would appear with bells and water, quench the flames and dissappear to keep an eye on the next burning mass amongst the throngs. And the people walked on by, not touching or bothering the pretty mounds of flames. And it was hot and smoky and looked like a riot had taken place, and no one seemed to be aware of the danger, but just full of celebrations of the end of the climbing season.

too long

2009-09-02T23:51:00.006+01:00

Oh of course, it's been too long since i updated, but i have pockets full of excuses, namely the edinburgh festival, rehearsals and then 2 weeks in japan. There's no time yet for a proper download so i thought i'd visually show you what's been occurring.

j'aime...

2009-08-02T07:31:00.003+01:00

Oh it's been a while again. This is beginning to feel like my diaries i wrote once a year when i was small, the most exciting entry being how i learned to make tea. But i'm here now, so that's good. What busy times, i intended to record these busy times, so i would remember them, but i forgot that when you're busy you don't get time to record it.

Rehearsals finished, and in 3 weeks we've written a show. It's funny and rough around the edges but mainly it's silly and fun, which is what i wanted. I got back from Paris yesterday, where i did nothing. Yep, nothing. Was blissful, i walked around, watched movies, ate gateaux, macarons, tartes, chocolat and mainlined sucre every day. It was beautiful, and warm, so warm. Not just sunny, a warm breeze, which you don't always get with a summer, indeed.

I also fell in love with ice tea. Hence the photgraphic halo around it above. Oh nestea, lipton tea, your peachy sugary goodness is all a girl needs to get through a hot day. The phrase j'ai voudrais un nestea sil'vous plait is pretty much all i said. The fella is now worried as if i start loving something, i usually consume it non-stop for a month and then announce it's disgusting and shall never be mentioned again. I do intense very well. He said he doesn't mind. He's very, very nice.

And today, well today i woke at half 4 in the morning, as i have to do a show all afternoon at a festival and then head further north to edinburgh, to get my show exisiting in a theatre as opposed to in our heads and scraps of paper. i'm tired and stressed and a bit frazzled, but essentially ok. essentially.

I woke up so early as i dreamed a fat man was trying to steal my fella's jacket in paris. and then i lay there for a while, doing my 'download'. this is where i sit, stare for an hour and review everything i've seen and thought recently, it genuinely feels like my brain is downloading information onto it's hard drive for later use, or memories as some call it. once it's started doing this, i can't really stop it, however tired i am, it's off and won't stop till it feels it's clean.

Whether any of this makes me seem odd, it's too early to tell. As long as i have nestea...

Gercha

2009-07-16T00:10:00.004+01:00

Life continues to be busier than a bee at me this week, so posts are low. Rehearsals continue, scripts are written, much tea is drunk, laughter is had and then told off, as some sense of order into chaos takes shape.

It's hard to sum it all up really...so instead i'll tell you about my mother. She is a cockney by birth not by voice, and most of the time quite a reasonable woman. On Monday i was typing away, writing, editing page after page when i heard a loud bang. I've been next to quite a few fuse explosions so i stared at the computer thinking, what is it, the printer, the light? What's exploded? But nothing has, so i stare some more and then look out the window. My mother is in the garden, looking guilty and with a mischevious grin on her face. I open the window and she says, 'i wasn't aiming for you!' i think and then realise, 'mum did you just throw a stone at my window?', 'yes but i was aiming for the birds on the roof!'.

It's when you hit that kind of logic that you understand the complex nature of man, guilt and families. I pointed out that if i had done this she would have gone mad, what if she had broken the window, 'well, i didn't!' she says in an ever increasing cockney tone. She then picks up another stone and pretends to throw at me, while making what is commonly described within the family as the 'gercha' noise, this signifys disgust and a general awaywidya attitude. 'i don't like those crows', she says, 'they're on my aerial it's disturbing the phone line!'

My mum hates crows. She think they peck out lamb's eyes, and so do i. I have no evidence for this, just 27 years of being told they do, which i unquestioningly believe. Until i explain this story to my friends and they then question me. I realise she might be wrong about the crows.

A few days later, my mum says, ' i suppose you're going to put that on your blog are you, about me throwing stones at you.', i wasn't but what a good idea i think. 'i wasn't aiming at you anyway' she says. She's told her friends about the story, they said it's her house she can throw a brick through my window if she wants. This is seen as another logical argument against my protestations of no things thrown at glass please rule.

So i have, and since she reads it, she will i imagine have words about this post, which i will happily record in another post, as she says at least she's good matierial. Thank you mumsy!

pic from this lady's lovely etsy shop.

da-dah!

2009-07-11T15:11:00.003+01:00

Well, what a week, rehearsing every day and 3 gigs so far, which amazingly all went well, only one more tomorrow which (touch wood) will go well. Rehearsals have been good, stressful, busy, full, brain-aching and all that happens when people gather in a room and get creative.

I did a dada comedy night on tuesday. yes that's what i said, it was amazing, a mix of performance poetry, characters and improvised monologues. Above is a picture of the set that 2 girls made for the night. Most comedy nights go as far as to provide a microphone for a gig. So having anything as glamorous as a set was quite wonderful. It was all made from newspapers, and the idea was that it would fall apart and decay as the night went on, which it did. Not sure how dada that is to conform to your own rules, but never mind. I improvised a character which was momentarilly terrifying just before i went on, but actually went ok, and was very liberating to not have a script to stick to, but also quite hard. i didn't have a ending so i asked them to start quietly talking about how good i was as i walked slowly backwards away from them. it seemed to work.

Today i finally caught up on emails and blogs, and found this picture below. Katie has done it again with her beautiful 100 pets projects, he is so cute, i'm thinking about stealing him by post, i might send envelopes filled with bacon and my address, i'm sure he'd get there eventually.

caketimes, sausagetimes...

2009-07-07T00:05:00.005+01:00

Ah isn't that a tasty pic? This was my Sunday, spent with a lot of cakes and family. It was lovely, we went to an amazing tea and cake shop in Stoke Newington and had full-on afternoon tea, clotted cream, jam, the works. And then back to my bro's for more cake. It was still sunny and lovely and any day filled with that much sugar makes me happy.

I had my first day of rehearsals today, survived them. I'm getting much better at stress i think, i mean still not great, on the train i considered running away to sevenoaks (the train was going there i don't have an attachment to it as a place) and just hiding by standing very still so no one could find me and make me direct a show. And then i thought no, just breathe and do it. And then i realised that some of what i was feeling was excitement, which i often mistake for fear, it's a rare feeling in my life, for this precise confusion. Anyway, i breathed, i walked in, i ran a rehearsal, they all turned up, and it happened. No fireworks, or cake, just lots of tea and hard work.

Also on Sunday, i met my friend Henry, and we had a drink at the BFI bar on the Southbank which is probably the nicest place to watch the sunshine dissappear in London. He wanted food. He saw the words 'pint of sausage rolls' on the menu and decided we had to have this. So below, is exactly what you think it is. A pint of sausage rolls.

They were yum in case you were wondering. Looking back Sunday wasn't my 'win points for healthy' day. Not that i have a points scheme. But i would lose that day if i did. Glad i don't have that then.

play me i'm yours

2009-07-04T11:46:00.002+01:00

My life has suddenly become busy, a few weeks ago i was staring out windows, swanning around the house and occasionally having a cup of tea. Since i said 'yes' to directing, i have been on a mad mad rush to get actors to agree to things for me, like doing a show for very little money. Most of them have so far, i'm still waiting on one, and rehearsals start Monday. No stress then.

On Wednesday this week I was in town with fella and his bro, we were filming an improvised monologue for the unsurprisingly named improv monolgue project. Set up by a Canadian, you simply have to take an improviser to a surprise location, give them a surprise object and then film them for 2 minutes. It was a boiling hot day when we did it, and I was dragged to many areas around St.Pauls, as we were passing temple bar, we came across this piano. I love this. An artist called Luke Jerram, has left street pianos all over the city, we're not the first city to get them, it seems Birmingham and Sao Paulo beat us to it. But they're amazing, anyone can sit down and play, and loads of people were playing really beautiful songs. I had a go, but i forgot the chords i learnt the other day. A journalist approached me afterwards from the New York Times, apprarently the pianos are coming to New York and she was asking people why they were playing. I hate journalists, well, actually i'm scared of them, i'm always terrified i'm going to say something stupid to them.

She asked me how old i was, i have a birthday coming up so i'm never sure which age i am at the moment, has it changed over yet? So i turned to my fella and said, "How old am i? I'm not 28 am i?" She laughed. And then started to write that down. Saw me looking so stopped herself, but then obviously committed to memory. It was so hot, i was confused, should you know instantly how old you are? Anyway i felt very silly.

Below are two 'naughty' tarts i bought from M&S the other day. Not sure why they were 'naughty' but they were very nice.

parklife

2009-06-30T00:37:00.002+01:00

It is so hot in London this week, beautiful. I realised today how much i love summer, and waking up to blue skies and no jacket weather. Last week i was temping on Shaftesbury Avenue, and instead of doing my usual lunch hour involving shopping for things i can't afford, i found a park directly behind the office. St.Giles Parish Park, is behind the odeon on Shaftesbury Avenue if you're interested, and looks like it's private till you get closer and realise it's full of drunk tramps asleep on guitars and office workers smoking and eating packed lunches, full of gossip.

The ground is wonky and it's packed with flowers and ponds and really looks like someone's back garden. I sat opposite a pond, and turned around to see this inscribed on the bench i was sitting on. I rang a friend and agreed to take on another job, that is going to make my life very busy and stressful but probably ok in the long run. i ruminated over the job offer for days, and then someone said that if the only reason i wasn't doing it was fear, that wasn't a reason not to do it. And well that seemed like a fair point, so now i have a show to write and a cast to find. But as long as i spend some time sitting on benches watching dragonflies, i should make it through without going crazy.

pondlife

2009-06-26T12:06:00.003+01:00

Lately I have been taking a cool dip in Hampstead Ponds. The ponds are amazing, set deep in Hampstead Heath, I'm always led to them by my friend Gem, and I'm sure if someone didn't show you, you might not find them. There is a ladies pond, men's pond and a mixed. We frequent the ladies pond, which is freezing, occuppied by ducks and perfect on a hot summers day.

There are lots of older ladies there, who are brown as a button, and have been swimming out doors for 20 years, and make no fuss of the cold. I like to scream and squeal while complaining the whole time, as i slowly dip into the water, which is green so you can never see what's below you. But despite all of these things it really is the best way to swim, no chemicals, no splashy boys, and only the sky above you.
bathers from here.
pond pic from here.

ouch

2009-06-25T09:45:00.003+01:00

I am in an office today. A proper office with suits and meetings. I found this picture, on the as ever wonderful P's blog, it's by an artist called David Fullarton, and it made me smile. Which is good, as in the spirit of feminity i wore heels today, sexy, black vintage heels. I only had to walk 5 mins from the tube to the office, and now i'm in agony. And currently sat with said shoes chucked in the corner, and padding around said serious office in bare feet. I keep wondering if i can get away with it, do people look at your feet in an office? I think they might if you're not wearing shoes.

Speaking of uncomfortable footwear... I sent them back. I know, i'm very proud. They were too high, and since it appears i can't cope with more than a sensible flat brogue, I realised i was being quite, quite mad. Which unfortunately is a regular realisation.

underneath the arches

2009-06-23T14:41:00.004+01:00

So the saga continues... I have been searching for shoes to go with a brown jumpsuit for my brother's wedding for ages, and then like the old woman i am really inside, i finally found asos.com, and couldn't believe how much stuff they had on there, and it was cheap too. I found the shoes! I ordered them on friday they turned up on monday! joy! Shoes to the door!

I put them on, and my mum pulled a face, you can't wear those, they're too high. Ha, i laughed, they're fine. Today i put them on and i struggled to walk down the corridor. But they're perfect, i haven't found any others that go? But then i looked at my foot, look what it's doing to it.
Isn't that mental. That shoes do that, so i might as well walk around on my toes, and draw some lines on my foot. It would probably be as comfortable.

So, what am i going to do? Probably keep them...i am a woman after all.

Audrey

2009-06-22T12:03:00.006+01:00

After posting about Audrey, I came across another Tiffany-themed post on P's blog, which led me to this blog, which led me to this flickr site. Bob Willoughby took photos of Audrey during the 50s and 60s, and decided at 80 to release some of the unseen ones on flickr. This is why i love the internet. Connections, undiscovered gems, feeling like your looking through an old chest full of images.

There's loads of images with her pet deer, lp. Pet deer. Yep pet deer. What? Who has a pet deer? Sometimes even Audrey is too Audrey, I mean you imagine her with a pet deer wearing ballet flats and eating pale pink macaroons, and yep that's pretty much what she was doing. Good to live up to your own cliche i suppose.

smiling here
steps here
cowgirl here

capturing motion

2009-06-18T23:41:00.004+01:00

I know it's cliche. But I love Audrey, and this film, and this poster. One of the few cases where the book is not better than the film. Holly Golightly is blonde in the book, so it always seemed odd to me.

Last week I did motion capture work, I had to dress up in a black suit with lights all over me, and walk like Audrey and Cher and Amy Whinehouse. And they filmed me and the dots and turned it into a person. Then i danced around the room to Beyonce, single ladies. There's time when i'm fully aware my job is very, very silly.

audrey from here via Funumbula.

dutting good time

2009-06-16T15:45:00.003+01:00

I was in Bradford this weekend, up North. I'd never been there before, and isn't it terribly snobby and southern of me to say i was surprised by how nice it was? Well I was. It's full of big brown victorian buildings, and it helped a lot that the sun shone all day on them, bringing out an orange glow to it all. We were performing at the Mela, Europe's oldest don't you know, talking all about this man, Shanta.

It was lovely and also involved a trip to the local Bradford nightlife, Varsity. Highlights include, a gang of women dressed as a rubgy team, a gang of women dressed in army fatigues, three transexuals eyeing themselves up in the mirror, the look of shock as local bradford lad dirty dancing with transsexual realised he was dancing with a transexual, and michael jackson's man in the mirror coming on as transexual was dancing to herself, in the mirror. It was better than television that dancefloor. And only £2 to get in, ah the north.

oh i do like to be...

2009-06-11T23:47:00.002+01:00

i took this on the Suffolk coast somewhere, i'm afraid i can't remember what it's called but it was lovely, and sandy, and there were loads of these huts lining the forest edge. It would of almost felt californian and we not been wrapped up in two fleeces, scarf and north face jacket for hiking. Did dip my feet in the water though. You have to don't you?

I've done a whole week of no cigarettes.
Thought the picture of clean fresh air might help.
I was looking at my tobacco today, and thinking what a waste of money, I should probably smoke it just so it doesn't go to waste.
Don't worry (mum) i didn't!
Still thinking fresh air thoughts...

this just in...

2009-06-08T14:57:00.002+01:00

Apologies for the pause. I've been rehearsing, performing and going to a wedding. All has been good and exhausting. We were in Chatham at the weekend, a teenage girl said we were 'ledge', i assume she meant 'legend' which i assume is a good thing. We were by the docks, which is much less romantic than it sounds, and involved more mud. The wedding was full of 70s disco music and dancing, and much more romantic than that sounds. This morning was full of sleepiness and the above thought.

Today is filled with board games. I just had to invoice a toyshop called 'wicked uncle' - that's not right is it?

pic from here.

hoo-ray!

2009-06-02T15:41:00.003+01:00

I got a job.

That i really want.

The sun has still got his hat on.

Thank-you world.

Even the builders saying 'afternoon' sarcastically as i emerged at 10 this morning was OK.

Hooray!

pic from we heart it.

you

2009-06-01T23:30:00.002+01:00

I love tumblr.

I know this is obvious from how i pretty much use them for all images.

this picture made me think of another man with good brogues and jaunty feet.

pic from sabino.

let me get what i want this time

2009-06-01T23:19:00.002+01:00

This picture weirdly looks like me. It's not me, if i had a dress that pretty i'd know, also if i was wearing it it'd be covered with tea stains, crumbs and other stuff i manage to spill down myself. I am what is know officially as a 'mucky pup' and therefore am not allowed to wear white as it does not stay that colour.

London is full of sunshine, and blue skies. I'm rehearsing, learning lines when i stop reading free papers, and generally...trying. i am really trying. to everybody. myself included.

pic from funumbula.

a-hoy!

2009-05-29T15:04:00.003+01:00

I've found these.
I sort of think they're ugly.
But now I've become obsessed.
You can't but them in the UK, they're called Saltwater sandals, because you can wear them in water. I've fallen in love with them a bit.
Mainly I'm supposed to be writing.
A futile search for shoes i don't need is a perfect distraction, phew!

fool

2009-05-28T11:58:00.006+01:00

Everyone loves a bacon sandwich. Best British Breakfast ever. To sound like a Sun headline.

I'm tempy working this week, and marching through Paddington Station, Franz Ferdinand jauntily singing in my ears, I was gripped by an urge for a bacon sandwich.

I was already five minutes late.

There was no where to buy one.

I marched towards Costa, i'll just buy a croissant i thought. But wait, what's this? The Cornish Pasty shop have started selling bacon rolls! It's a sign, i should treat myself!

I marched into the shop, I'll have a bacon roll please - subtext i'm a grown up and can order what treats i want, isn't being big fun!

She picked it up and flopped it into the microwave. Oh, I started to look at them properly, they looked horrid, and ill, and like they were made of salty rubber.

The pasty lady looked at me, that'll be £2.95 please.

Oh, i thought. I don't want this horrid, expensive rubber roll.

But she continued to look at me. The microwave dinged. She handed me a greasy bag. I handed over three pounds, and walked away glumly.

I bit into it.

It tasted of salt and rubber.

The bits which were just bread and ketchup are ok, i thought to try and cheer myself up.

pic from this flickr and this man.

hilarity

2009-05-27T15:26:00.003+01:00

We did the gig.
We wrote it an hour before on hand written scraps of paper.
Luckily our impro skills came into force.
The script looked a lot like this:

J: So we need a sketch -
C: ad lib about her day builders etc.
S: ad lib about being on telly
Do bit about S knowing famous people?

It's a wonder we got through it, but a kind audience who understand that 'character and sketch comedy night' means 'bit unpolished but charming silliness' forgave us.

And...there were 12 people there! Who says we're fringe theatre? Double figures, thank you very much!

pic from weheartit

staring

2009-05-26T13:42:00.005+01:00

Today I am supposed to be writing. I have lots to do, a gig tonight (sketches - unwritten), a gig next week (solo - unwritten) and plenty of material to be fine tuning, editing and fixing. Instead I am staring out the window.

Or wandering to the kitchen, and then thinking, no i won't have lunch just yet, i'll write. So i wander back and stare out the window.

The sun keeps coming out from the clouds, and there are loads of birds swooping around.

My brain keeps wandering off, and in my head i'm leaping up and down in yellow shoes.

Sadly while all this floats in my brain, i'm still sat in front of a blank screen.

Thank goodness for blogging. It's almost like writing but i pretty much know no one will read it, so less pressure.

I mean, tonight there might be 7 people at the gig.

pics from funambula.

Good gentles all...

2009-05-24T23:21:00.005+01:00

I finally got back to some impro today. i love impro so much, it is the one place in performance where you can be as free and crazy as you like, and that i'm afraid rather suits my brain and it's flights of whimsy.

Today was even better.

Today we improvised Shakespeare.

We practiced sonnets and flighting and quibbling, which are as fun to do as they sound.

We played boring lords scenes, best blind siblings reunited, and best surreptitious eating of cake by spear carriers.

It's not as hard as it sounds, but if you've seen enough RSC productions in your time, you can see the tricks. Copy and work them in.

Instant Shakespeare. It's that easy.

Sort of.

pic from we heart it.

I never said I was deep

2009-05-22T13:48:00.004+01:00

Please tell me you've heard of Spotify?

It contains all the music in the world, and you can listen to it for free, and it's legal. Now there are times, when I'm glad I live in the future, and Spotify is one of them.

It enables you to listen to all those amazing old songs you'd forgetton about (Suzanne Vega, Toms' Diner - c'mon! I'm am sitting by the window...) and also to new songs that you like but maybe don't want to buy (Lily allen - it's not right but it's really not ok...who knew she was good! but she is!) but best is when lying in bed you remember Jarvis Cocker has a new album and you haven't heard it, so you can sit with fella, listen to whole album while in a blissful haze.

Because Jarvis doesn't let you down.

And the record industry will be pleased to note, after all that listening, I want to buy the album.

And Jarvis.

But they don't sell him for £9.99 in WH Smiths.

pic by we heart it.

you lookin' at me?

2009-05-21T18:46:00.003+01:00

So I mentioned her yesterday, but these pictures from Katie really make me smile.

So simple.

So silly.

Enough to cheer anyone out a grump.

Not quite as much as a lovely cigarette would though.

hmmm

2009-05-21T18:06:00.001+01:00

feeling bit odd today.

just had a biscuit, was sainsbury's taste the difference but was bit stale.

learnt a piano chord.

had a cup of tea.

went for a run.

might be the lack of nicotine,

or hormones

in my life.

today, for example this ven diagram makes sense to me.

pic...sabino.

shadowboxer

2009-05-20T16:45:00.005+01:00

i just stumbled across these pictures from this blog. Not only is Katie cool, artisitic, lives in NY, designed and took these pictures, she's part of Improv Everywhere - an amazing group who were the first to organise flashmobs. But interesting ones, like where they all sang in a mall, or created twins on a subway. And she looks like fun.

Sometimes it's hard not to want to hate people who seem so instantly brilliant, nah i'm just gonna read her blog and surely i'll become brilliant by osmosis.

Hope she doesn't mind.

don't think osmosis is painful.

oh and it's thanks to the super-monk i found her.

don't jump!

2009-05-20T12:12:00.004+01:00

This wasn't the story i was looking for on the BBC...but c'mon - ducklings! aah!

jump for my love

2009-05-20T10:26:00.002+01:00

japan wedding by ladychouette featuring Carvela shoes

So there had been much discussion on 'the' dress. I mean mainly between me and my head, trying to debate what i should go for...and after much searching the streets of london, i found this.
It's not a dress.
if only i'd called it the search for 'the' jumpsuit, we would have got so much quicker.
Amazingly it's from Monsoon, ususally the proverbial home of mid-thirties ladies from surrey, but it has stumped up trumps here.
Now just to get the shoes, bag, earrings...

The search continues.
Especially considering most of the stuff on this collage is priceyer than the jumpsuit.

sink or swim

2009-05-19T15:25:00.003+01:00

i did a gig last night. this pic made me think of it. approaching the unknown audience from backstage, standing behind a black curtain waiting for your introduction can feel like staring at the sea. No idea if it's going to get rough and swallow you up or if you'll skim across it light and happy as the bestest, flattest pebble ever made.

last night went well. thank goodness. no matter how long you've stood on the edge of that stage, you never completely trust you won't die on your arse. comedy is a simple test either they laugh or they don't. last night they laughed, sometimes you say the same lines and they stare at you as if you've got the smell of failure on you and it's contagious. same words. different faces. it's hard to make sense of.

so like a simple soul i keep smacking my head aginst the wall because maybe this time it won't hurt?

people who choose to perform are a bit odd.

snooze button

2009-05-19T15:05:00.003+01:00

i am working this week, work work not fun work.

getting up is not fun.

especially when you have to leave the one you love.

this pic from sabino made me sleepy.

rollin'

2009-05-19T14:50:00.003+01:00

my old english lecturer always told us that Roland Barthes died by getting hit by a milk truck.

Although wikipedia disagrees.

He was called Vybarr.

The tutor that is.

I'm sure Roland would have approved of the confusion, semiotics mon amie.

image from sabino

double down hearts

2009-05-16T12:16:00.003+01:00

I went to see Kirsten Schall and Kurt Braunohler's show last night at the Bloomsbury theatre. It was great, she is amazing like a modern day Lucille Ball. The show was silly, stupid, funny and ridiculous. Just how i like it.

Altogether now, 'Kirsten Schall is a horse! Kirsten Schall is a horse! Look at her go! Now look at her go! Kirsten Schall is a horse!'.

That will make more sense if you've seen it.

so see it maybe?

oh le chaussette!

2009-05-15T12:51:00.002+01:00

regardez le shoes people. Aren't they tres tres amazing?

Only Garance could so casually throw these my way and not expect a reaction.

I love Garance. She is so french, that it's like reading a fashion version of tin-tin.

Who was Belgium.

You know what i mean.

modernity

2009-05-14T16:23:00.003+01:00

Doesn't this look nice, big keys to smash your story down on.
Silly really. How nostalgic i get about impractical objects, like those big ol' rotary dial phones that took so long to dial. But weren't they satisfying?
I've got a new phone.
It's touch screen.
And really annoying.
When i said to the man in the shop i didn't think i could work a touch screen phone, he laughed and shamed me into getting it.
Now me and my pride try to text people without apostophes.
it bugs us.

high

2009-05-14T15:24:00.002+01:00

Someone just gave me a bag of three day old pick'n'mix.
They said to me these aren't very nice.
I've had lunch.
I'm not hungry.
I just ate the bag.
I feel sick and my skin is tingling.
Is there such a thing as sugar anonymous?

ooh...

2009-05-14T12:06:00.006+01:00

i'm just a little bit excited...

don't let me down jonze...

pics from merricat.

march to your own tune

2009-05-14T11:08:00.008+01:00

I've mentioned my friend V before. She's wonderful. Amazing. Inspiring. And quite, quite mad.

She often uses text messages to send me deeply heartfelt, sincere thoughts which always seem bizarre in text form.

Yesterday this:

...

I'll go if u go! The demise of the evening standard made me feel sad tonight - what about the sellers? Had a gig tonight. How u?

i reply...

yeah, i didn't know standard had folded. see you soon please x

she replies...

Standard hasn't actually crashed yet. i just FEEL it coming. i have a wedding next day so will have to leave fasionably early anyway. is early the new late? X

...

You can't buy people like V. She's a one off. A mad, special, brilliant one off.

pics from merricat.

herzog and the monsters

2009-05-13T13:57:00.001+01:00

Herzog and the Monsters from Lesley Barnes on Vimeo.

This is a beautiful animation by Lesley Barnes. My fella showed it to me, I don't always watch the many films he recommends but this is one I'm glad i did...

in the loop

2009-05-12T15:16:00.005+01:00

i've been meaning to blog about this for a while. But it's hard as it's one of those films i loved and found difficult at the same time, I guess because it's satire and so it holds up a mirror to your world and makes you see the wood lice that live beneath the rookery, which maybe you knew were there but didn't want to think about.

Well, that was eloquent.

Hence, why i hesitated on the post. But i guess i'd say it's an excellently made film, hilarious, and the fact that a British film made with British actors is being sucessful should be enough to make you feel jingoistic for the day. Go see.

Even just for the line, 'the only reason people listen to classical music is because they can't walk round with a hat saying i went to public school'.

i haven't ruined it for you don't worry.

pic of Peter Capaldi and Chris Addison...both are brilliant, know them!

je veu...

2009-05-12T00:10:00.006+01:00

i am trying to learn french ... again.

Last year my fella and I went and lived in paris for a bit. It was wonderful and still holds the power to stop any row or cheer up a bad day with one of us saying, "ah do you remember the macaroons?" Seriously we spent most of our money in Pierre Herme and on Jam. It was really good jam.

My french got pretty good while i was out there, but most of it as rusted up since then, especially after a recent trip to Vienna where it was replaced in my brain with my bad school German. Thanks brain.

Then ma flatmate found Conversation Exchange. You post up your profile and then you can meet up with a French person in London and practice both languages! C'est parfait! (see i'm learning already) So tonight i met Sandrine and we mainly gossipped on boyfriends, marketing and acting. Mainly in English as ma Francais officially sucks. I think Sandrine realised my level when i said "how do you say 'i want?' ".

It was a bit like a date and i felt slightly embarrassed as i asked her if i could meet her again to practice. She agreed. So now it looks like i have to start re-learning french for when i buy the flat in Paris and live there with a dog, my fella and a constant supply of macaroons.

If Sandrine doesn't dump me that is.

top pic from getty images

bottom pic of coco from flickr

too old for this

2009-05-07T17:08:00.005+01:00

I performed the sketch on Tuesday. Luckily it went well, despite an initial grumpy audience, they seemed to enjoy the addition of ronan keating to our comedy. Which is a bit of a surprise. But a pleasant one.

London is muggy and keeps looking it's going to rain. Also the builders are in my house fixing cracks, forcing me to make fake cockney conversation every now and again,

me : hello

builders: oh! eh! up are we?! eh?

me: oh yeah, ha, yeah.

builders: women eh? got a right one here shane!

me: oh yeah, uh, women...

i then look embarrassed, there's no dignity when you're still in your dressing gown at half 11 with your hair, in what can only be described as a top knot. i grab my fruit n fibre and roobois tea and run upstairs. i'm hiding in my own house.

when do you feel grown-up enough not to be scared of builders?

top pic from we heart it.

bottom pic from we heart it.

dance magic dance

2009-05-05T13:31:00.004+01:00

You may already know i'm a fan of Bowie, but i have to be honest the crush began as a child while watching Labyrinth. Yeah, not really cool, i didn't hear Ziggy Stardust and have my world changed, i saw him leaping about in grey leggings and thought wow, i like him. not cool.

Well, on Staurday i was doing an impro gig at the London Sci-Fi Film Festival, they called a load of us in and we were going to dub over an entire film at midnight, the catch being we didn't know what it was going to be.

It was Labyrinth.

This was tough, i practically know all the words i've seen it so much. I was able to tell my friends when their charcters were coming back in, "G- , Ludo will come in after Hoggle gets off that bridge, get your mike ready". I didn't realise I would feel like such a geek so surrounded by other geeks.

It was fun though, they seemed to like it, especially when we drew attention to those leggings. Oh David, did you ask for those?

pic from we heart it.

must be funny

2009-05-02T16:24:00.003+01:00

£££ by ladychouette featuring Fendi heels

Flatmate and I planned it. A trip to all saints. A naughty trip both of us are broke and poor.

We went in giggling, obviously first of all they thought they we were shoplifters, we clearly don't look like regular customers or people with jobs.

We gathered dresses like milkmaids gathering buttercups in spring, we skipped to the changing room... anticipation patted the air.

They were all horrible!

The parachute is dress is so full of material you would be mistaken for a tee-pee, and all the others were 'alright' but not worth 100 squids.

Until this one.

It's too dark for the wedding.

It's too hot for the wedding.

It's too much money if it's not the dress i need for the wedding.

But it looked so good on! And i'd wear it lots i know. So it would probably work out at only £2 a wear, this is how i balance out spending my overdraft.

But i was so good. I put it back, i don't think i could face the wrath back home. But it looks pretty in the picture. and to make myself feel better, i've put it next to the Balmain jacket which no word of a lie is worth $5000. I say worth, that's obviously the wrong word, that's how much they make you pay. I'm gonna wait for the New Look copies like everyone else.

distractions

2009-05-01T14:28:00.000+01:00

Firekites - AUTUMN STORY - chalk animation from Lucinda Schreiber on Vimeo.

this is a pretty thing to glance at on a sunny day...

fast as you can

2009-04-29T12:07:00.007+01:00

I've started running.

This is weird.

I don't think i've voluntarily been for a run since, well, never. But i'm so bored of paying for yoga and traipsing into town and spending the whole day for an hour and a half class. I say bored. i mean i'm bored of using that as an excuse of why i didn't go to yoga.

Running is free.

It's fresh air.

It takes me half an hour to recover from a 10 minute run.

Well, you gotta start somewhere.

every journey starts with a wheezy run?

This is what i imagine i look like when i run.

be assured i don't look like this.

top pic from we heart it.

bottom from we heart it.

oh my!

2009-04-27T12:07:00.005+01:00

i wish i could afford all saints by ladychouette featuring Monica Vinader jewelry

My flatmate actually just fell to the floor weeping that we don't own any of these items, with the immortal words, ' i hate all my clothes that aren't these!'. I've avoided all saints for ages as it always seems really pricey but in the quest for 'the' dress i have been drawn, and as i said to her, 'oh dear what have we done'.

we're reasoning that if we stop buying cheap clothes for a month we can buy here.

we're not very rational it has to be said.

in the mean time i'll have to do with a collage.

the damned united

2009-04-27T09:49:00.004+01:00

i went to see this last week. It's about football, and as i sat down in the cinema with my ben and jerry's i realised, i was the only women in the room. Oh dear i thought - i'm going to hate this. Not only is it about football, it's about football in the 70's and northern football in the 70's.

but it did have michael sheen in it. i'm just here for the sheen i thought.

i was not let down by mr.sheen.

it's a great film, even if you a)hate football and b)know nothing about it, because they've done that clever thing of giving it a good story, so you don't mind that they're running around on a pitch kicking things, because you care about the characters.

sheen is so good.

oh sheen.

'the' dress

2009-04-22T22:47:00.005+01:00

it is still sunny! i walked the whole of Oxford street today, looking for 'the' dress. My brother is getting married in August. In Japan. In 45 degree heat. This is the criteria 'the' dress must contend with. I went to topshop, hennes, monsoon, i scoured and schlepped the streets...of course i ended up in Primark buying cheap sandals because i was so hot in my brogues.

I love my brogues. a bit too much. My friend V said they were anti-sexy in a good way. She often says things that sound like insults but she's manifestly convinced they're compliments.

I filmed a sketch in the morning. Sometimes actors are awful. But sometimes you come together on a random project, and everyone is nice, and friendly and they make you laugh, and it becomes simply the best way to pass the time. We spent lunch drinking red wine sat on a patio. Trust me this is not normal for actors or me.

So any thoughts on dresses? Or shall i just give in and wear the kimono?

below pic by...c'mon now merricat of course!

sun funny

2009-04-21T21:13:00.006+01:00

london was a blaze of summer today, it genuinely had a warm breeze blowing through it, i mean still coat weather, but for Londoners this is positively tropical. It's so nice when it's light late in the evening and you finally see Spring dropping into the foreground. I love living somewhere you can see the differations of the seasons, from the blossom and the leaves on the trees, to the smiles on everyone's faces. Oh gosh that's very sickly for a londoner. ahem, sorry i shall get back to my cynicism shortly.

I spent the day writing a sketch with my friend. Slightly worried as we think it's really funny and ends with us both singing Ronan Keating's 'Love is a Rollercoaster'. Which i think might be how all sketches should end. Although as i said it is a worry when you think something's hilarious, it can be a clear sign it's not. Which you usually find out in front of an audience when they don't laugh. And then when you think somethings awful, you throw it away to an audience and they go crazy. I love performing comedy but i find it so hard to judge sometimes. Especially as my own sense of humour is quite odd. Sometimes it's not the best guide for these things.

These pics made me smile anyway.

I shall let you know if we hear silence or laughter after we've performed it.

From Sabino and Merricat again.

bookworm

2009-04-20T16:28:00.002+01:00

this would be a nice way to spend this afternoon.

i used to crawl into cardboard boxes when i was little to read. i guess i was always a bit odd.

pic from merricat again.

let me eat cake

2009-04-20T14:37:00.007+01:00

i am still in westminster today, and the sun is shining away, so on my lunch break, i decided that sugar was called for. i pretty much feel like this after every meal, i mainly eat mains just to get to pudding. So off i went on sugar quest, but strangely for london, this area is not full of cake/starbucks, so i had to head over the river to see what i could find. i remembered a cafe nero near big ben and envisioning hot chocolate and brownies in my mouth i trotted off.

but i got stopped, there is a big protest today in parliament square which is unusual as you're not allowed to protest anyway near the houses of parliament these days. There were police vans, helicopters and loads of officers surrounding the square and blocking my way to cake ectasy.

Sometimes it's confusing being a modern citizen. i felt rather guilty watching their plight, their passion to fight out for something, against my forlorn self, thinking can't you make a path for me so i can get some cake. How wrong is that, y'know on a scale? I watched an excellent newswipe the other night about how the saturation of news has left us all with an 'oh dear' complex about the news and the feeling of powerlessness against the awfulness in the world.

either that or i am now officially addicted to sugar.

i saw people with pret boxes, and followed where they'd come from, found a branch and bought a big flapjack. sated.

pic from Sabino and merricat.

oh vienna...

2009-04-19T23:35:00.005+01:00

i took this picture on the U-bahn in Wien ( as they call it - i'm not just being smug). It's the ususal photo to ask people to give up their seat for those who need it more. I love the design behind it but mostly i love the old man at the end. When i first saw it i thought he was wearing a massive black hat pulled right down, with his glasses resting above the brim. what a suspicious old man i thought, give this seat up to former spies, then i realised it was just his face and i felt a bit silly. maybe there should be a seat for former spies, but you'd have to ask the person next to you whether seagulls fly low over Moscow to sit on it.

i am...

2009-04-17T17:40:00.002+01:00

it wasn't deleted.
i am just a bit hormonal.
all better now.
roobois tea and cake solved the problem!
hoo-rah.

pic from sabino again

oh for f-

2009-04-17T15:41:00.005+01:00

i just wrote something that was brilliant.

it got deleted.

i am trying not to bash the keyboard in because they might fire me for being a mental.

this picture makes me feel better. via Sabino.

grrr...

i am swearing a lot right now.

a view from some bridges

2009-04-17T14:36:00.011+01:00

i am temping at a dull office, but it has the fortunate appeal of being opposite the houses of parliament. However, due to a dull architect the reception does not face this magnificent view, and so i have to strain around to look at it, or sneak into meeting rooms to get a glance. I know it's an obvious choice but it really is my favourite building in London, it has great stage presence i suppose. The two men who designed and built it both went insane, Pugin went mad from designing all the patterns. Also around the whole builidng is inscribed the Lord's prayer in Latin to protect it. I love that. A seat of democracy but we've put up this horseshoe for luck. It seems a very English thing to do, anglo-saxon in it's common sense.

This also mean i can spend my lunch breaks at the Tate Britain, which makes me pretty lucky actually, if i remember to stop moaning. They've got a surprisingly good exhibition on there at the mo, called Altermodern, which looked like it was going to be filled with fatuous crap but wasn't which is always a nice surprise. How lame is this - until yesterday i'd never turned right in the tate so i hadn't seen any of the modern stuff they have there. what an odd creature, like a grumpy dwarf walking to work in the mine the same way. That's how i see myself.

Also i have made up a song, "blackfriars, waterloo, westminster, lambeth, vauxhall! These are the bridges of the thames", you have to sing it in a 19th Century cockney accent for full effect. Don't steal it though, i'm pretty sure i got a hit on my hands.

p.s. it didn't delete my draft, um yeah so no need to get that cross really, whoops.

photo from this lady's flickr site.

Cartoon from tate website.

delightful

2009-04-16T13:02:00.002+01:00

this is a japanese programme that is shown in minute snippets most days, it's beguiling and totally enchanting. please feel free to try and explain why watching this is like being read a story, i love it.

p and q's

2009-04-16T11:53:00.005+01:00

I finally managed to get my impro classes going yesterday. I'd had to cancel before due to the only person signing up being me, but yesterday 6 whole people appeared! It was wonderful, i was thrown completely at first by people appearing at my class, which i had resolved myself would just be a weekly cancellation trip, but there they were 6 eager faces wanting to learn.

And after finding my notes, recovering my breath from running to the centre and hiding my sweaty face with lots of smiling it went well. I love impro for it's constant moments of filling you with joy, however long you've been doing it. We were all doing our exercises and games very well, but then i made them play the gift giving game. In pairs, one person mimes giving something to someone, and the person receiving the gift, must define it for them. The only other rule is they must be overjoyed to receive it. Suddenly everyone is smiling, hugging and thanking one another, "Oh a mirror! Which shows me age 5! Thank you so much!", "Oh a car, wow, a tiny car! Does it run on petrol? Wow, it runs on farts, thank you so much, it's perfect!"

The room was instantly filled with happiness and gratitute. So easy to realise how easy it is to make everyone be happy. Be gracious.

Images from the lovely keep calm gallery again, i know the bottom image is everywhere now but it is still a lovely piece of design isn't it?

i don't just look at clothes

2009-04-15T15:42:00.005+01:00

sometimes i look at other things...honest.

The top is from an amazing design site called keep calm, i'm in love with this poster. And i can think of one person who'd throughly enjoy it.

Below, is an artist called Amy Ross who does beautiful mish mash pictures. I like the odd combinations she chooses, and how they look Victorian but light and modern at the same time. I also just like the idea of seagull mushroom heads. Must be still thinking of red dwarf monsters. Although if you watched the new episodes you'll know they didn't anything that imaginative. hurumph. still love it though...

wow

2009-04-15T14:21:00.004+01:00

english summer by ladychouette featuring Dorothy Perkins belts

So this is scary. When the internet again provides a way for you to do literally nothing whilst still achieving enough to make you feel slightly less lazy than a dead person. i have discovered polyvore.com, which sounds like a red dwarf monster, helps to convey the danger of this site. You can make a collage. look! see! i made one! Yes what an accomplishment for my young years. Oh dear. I think it's aimed at bored teenage girls, why do i still think I am one? As if i'm just wasting time until summer hols.

Anyway above is what i did, i call it english summer, coz i can.

Work

2009-04-14T16:01:00.006+01:00

I'm back temping again after a blissful break of a working holiday in Vienna. I performed impro at the Theater Drachengasse, and I can thoroughly reccommend the Sachertorte. But today I'm at work and i can't upload any pictures of my trip to Vienna as they've put a block on emails, facebook and twitter. Intially i nearly had a panic attack when the blocked content message kept coming up, what could i possibly do all day? But i had forgotten my powers of procrastination. And they are immense. So after staring at fashion blogs for an easy 6 hours, the internet has again sated me. But the lure of the rest of the week rumbles in front of me. Thank goodness for iplayer and youtube. Which aren't banned, but surely are far more time wasting than emails? I guess it's easy to spot someone guffawing at Stewart Lee's comedy vehicle, and think, aha they're not working than it is to just hear them typing. The click clack sound of a keyboard baring the same noise whether office or personal. That must drive them crazy. Imagine if they could distiguish the sound of the email, then they could control all the work that happens in the office!

Today they have been 6 phone calls. You think they'd let me check my emails? Tomorrow i'm going to go bribe the I.T. department. I've watched IT crowd i know what they do down there.

So in the mean time these beautiful photgraphs keep me occupied. From Bethany O'Brecht.

Play

2009-03-19T12:28:00.006Z

It's a simple word. we all know how to. it should be relatively easy to play - in life, in impro, in everything we do. To smile and see the lightness. But i actually think it's one of the hardest things you can do, i guess because it starts with laughing at yourself, which if you for a second feel self-concious, afraid or insecure you cna't do. Everything seems like a knock or an attack. It's such an easy mind point to fall back on.

Impro is play. It's being children, it's the games you played when you were younger, it's house, hospital, mummies and daddies, and just like childrens games it'll end in tears unless you laugh and smile.

Perhaps we're just all trying to escape the personality we bred when we were 7 and someone took our toys, cry or laugh or share. Whatever choice you made then will show in impro now. But when you do play, and laugh, it's magical, then the world is yours, you can be anything and enter anywhere. And be children again.

top via we heart it bottom via we heart it

oh man...

2009-03-18T14:50:00.005Z

Well it had to happen eventually didn't it? Here, at the house of procrastination, twitter was bound to come along, slide it's jaws around us and slam them shut with a cold dark thud. I mean i have facebook i thought i don't need anything else, but no because twitter is like facebook for famous people, you can almost be friends with stephen fry and tina fey. This does not happen on facecrack. No on facecrack it's just your own actual friends, who needs them? No we can talk to the realdavidmitchell, we are free to be friends with comedy stars who write funny 140 word paragraphs with pictures of them in the car on the way to dover.

Even if an actual friend sent me that i'd probably be slightly bored - why then am i so intrigued? it's like diaries isn't it? you know you shouldn't read other people's but if graham linehan wrote you a diary just for you and then emailed it to you. well you'd feel interested wouldn't you? Even though deep down you knew he didn't write it to you directly. is this the fall of humainty? Probably not, isn't that what they said about the novel, radio, television and the internet? If it is the fall, it's been a long slow one which has mainly been fuelled by our obsession to know each other just that little bit more.

top pic by we heart it via etsy
bottom pic by funumbula

the joys of spring

2009-03-17T14:37:00.004Z

Does anything smell better than fresh flowers? no really, can any perfume, oil or cream smell as nice as flowers? I just bought a bunch as an early mother's day present, and they are currently sat on my desk dripping with the smell of life, spring and outdoors. It's sunny in London today, and the daffodils have been showing their yellow faces for a few weeks now. People are smiling and wearing sunglasses. Eternally English they say how warm it is to each other, as if surprised by Spring appearing again, as it does every year. And yet every year in the depths of grey london winter you just begin to think this is it, this is how it will be now, cold and colourless, and then Spring bounds in to the room cheekily and usually feeling like a late guest at a party, but a charming late guest who everyone forgives.

I reccommend fressias for proper stinking out a room with wonderfulness and huge peonys falling out of themselves to bring spring wagging into your world.

pic via we heart this via flickr.

two words, in-spiration

2009-03-16T10:56:00.005Z

It's not often in this world that someone surprises you, genuinely, and you feel that they've made you look at the world in a different way, in a different light and showed you where you were going wrong, but without judging you for where you were going.

i guess that's why i love impro. because in impro you genuinely meet those people who make you stand up, look at yourself and how you operate and see the possibility for change. Whether it's just to cheer up, be less negative, or see how time and events have made you barricade yourself up, you can bet impro will drag you right back out again. It forces you to look people in the eye, smile and then work with them for all their strengths and weaknesses. and that is amazing.

Patti Stiles. I thank you. Seriously, what is there something in the water in Canada?

pic via funambula 'taking the leap over the impro stream'
pic by i am dreaming

pro-cras-tination

2009-02-26T17:13:00.008Z

wow. you can waste so much time on here. you could literally start to die and not notice, your voicebox could shrivel so that all you can do is honk and creak when your browser stops working. You could grow extra long thin fingers that could crawl spindle spider like across the keyboard so you wouldn't have to move your hands. And your wrists could fuse to the desk so they wouldn't have to feel the strain of holding their weight anymore. the internet of the future.

Weird, i was going to blog about my new found love of fashion blogs, but that seems to led me down a dark dark road...hmm interesting. Anyway, i have found new pages to drool over, shoes, style and lascivious expense. Brilliant.

Worryingly some of these bloggers are far too young to be that stylish and have that many good shoes, but i forgive them.

Why is it i can just stare at pictures for hours, i realise now that magazines are just pur grown up picture books, and just as much as i could stare at bramley hedge for hours, pouring over each tiny leaf detail, i can stare at a fashion shot for as long, the lines, the colours, the jewels.

i know it's credit crunch, but a world of women out there seem to be distracting themselves with pretty things. i'm with them. is that bad?

p.s. pics from the satorialist, garance dore and childhood flames, links above.

Grand Gentlemen

2009-02-17T11:24:00.007Z

So the amount of time you can waste on the internet still staggers me...what did people in offices do before it's superb invention? They must of stared out of windows loads - which i like to do but if you're not in a moving vehicle it can hurt the retina. The internet allows me to view, search and peek and the world in the most wonderful way. Today due to a lull onfacecrack I have been listening to youtube instead of an actual radio station.

I started with Bowie, go look at his own website, very bizarre but they are some superb t-shirtsfor sale. But better than that are live performances that are on there, where the older he gets the more beautiful he looks. I know everyone loves him, but seriously what is it about this man that means you're unable to stop looking at him?

Then I wondered on to my new fave Morrissey, especially his new song, Throwing my arms around Paris, which thanks to youtube i can scroll back and have listened to on repeat for 10 minutes now. He has it as well, ok so he's not quite as compelling as Bowie, but these gracefully elegant gentlemen who seems to stroll and swagger through life just make me want to swoon and also inspire me. Sorry, didn't mean to quite go stalkery about them - but I do love them.

Thank you gentlemen. And my own swaggery gent too of course.

love...

2009-02-16T12:21:00.001Z

Happy Belated Valentine's to you all, and my apologies for lack of posting again. So updates on life was going to be my theme today, but sometime sif you stare at the minutae you get a little bogged down by it all, well I do at analysing actions, thoughts and consequences.

A friend of mine got engaged today and I thought wouldn't it be nicer to focus on goodness and love rather than wrongs and things that bug? Yes C it would. So here it is, with cute pictures of moomins and all. The world is full of wondeful moments, I just need to get better at noticing them i think... i'm trying, i promise, i imagine my new large pot of eve lom cream will help. Well, it will make me feel better anyway.

Happy love day... for no reason, just because.

build up

2009-01-22T17:00:00.003Z

So this is what i'm waiting for... the great 50 hour event. I know I've mentioned it already but I guess as it's the only performance looming on the horizon, it feels a bit like what I'm working towards. I had to speak to a journalist today about it, that's terrifying, funnily the media has made me scared of the media, i feel that journalists are instantly untrustworthy and bound to quote me wrong, which is silly, because he was a nice man doing an arts piece. So it's not exactly slander territory.

Anyway it rapidly approaches, and i babbled enthusiastically about it. I told him it was like a happening, it would change your life, and make you friends, and be the best you've ever seen. And i think all this is true, but I still felt silly saying it. Gosh, it's hard to know what to say to a question, You should just be succinct, i know that in my brain somewhere, but i try and find the right answer i suppose, there isn't one.

I should know that. I'm an improviser.

Barack Obama!

2009-01-20T14:44:00.003Z

Is what my mum said when she opened the door this morning, she's very excited about today, as is the world. Which it should be, it's pretty exciting, he's an amazing speaker, and so therefore we understand what he stands for - and more than that we believe him. It doesn't feel like he's reading a speech, and like all great actors he knows how to make it feel like he's speaking to just you.

I hope he has a lovely day. I also hope that when all the celebration settles down, we won't start attacking him for not living up to all the things we wanted him to live up to. After all he's a politician, not the second coming, he can't cure all world ills and bring peace on earth. I mean maybe he can- i'm willing to believe it, but mainly because i want to, not because of anything he's actually said.

Anyway, today we can be positive, there's plenty of time for cynicism later.

So, just shout out Barack Obama!

I covet thee...

2009-01-19T16:47:00.007Z

Oh dear, it's wrong really. As a sane and liberal gal - i know that things can't make you happy. But the internet is full of 'em. Pretty, sparkly, shiny things that jump at you saying me! me! me! I'm just the thing for a gal like you...

Maybe not for me...

Maybe for someone with money...

But look a moment on the eyes, may save you some money in the long run...

lost in the super net

2009-01-16T14:20:00.003Z

it's too easy really, you start off gazing at your old favourite blog, the one you always go to, and before you know it she's put up a link to somewhere new, then you're lost you've gone down, far down. Hundreds of tabs and open windows and you can't remember where you started - all you know is it wasn't meant to end like this - you were going to do work, but somehow, well, now you're here...

I don't mean to be all heartfelt, it's not my normal style, but isn't the internet amazing, you can gaze along it's highways and find yourself interconnected with artists in portland, and part time photo obssesives in tokyo. Maybe every generation feels like they have discovered the tool to communication, perhaps when radio appeared and you could listen long into the night to french sailors discussing proust, it felt like your bedroom was sailing along next to them.

perhaps, it's still amazing. look at the blogs i'm following on the side to get lost yourself.

judge a book by it's cover...

2009-01-15T16:17:00.002Z

So, is it wrong to hate someone on site? I mean to instantly look and think I don't like you? Not for any crazy rac/religion/fear reasons... but because something in your guts thinks, hmm can't trust you can i?

Is that mad? Probably slightly. But then i bet you also know what i mean. I met someone recently and i thought, nope not sure about you... and then i thought now come on be nice. But that was the trouble she was nice, sickly nice, as if every word she said was conveying how 'nice' and inoffensive she was. And then i thought well, hang on what's the fuss? Why are you so keen to let me know your nice?

And then I just watched. And the nicer she got to other people, and slightly less bothered with me, a ha! I have you now i thought. And then she said... she didn't like chocolate, it makes her sick.

Well, that was all we needed really.

I bumped into her in the street and she was smoking. She looked horrified, double aha! Didn't want people to know about that did ya?

Sometimes it's hard having an over-active imagination. The picture has nothing to do with this story, it's intended to distract my overactive mind.

catching up

2009-01-14T11:06:00.002Z

Well... as usual I struggle to keep up with this thing. I'm not surprised so I don't think you should be either. It is in the very nature of a blog to be forgotten about sometimes, so the blog doesn't mind, it's ok about it too. So don't feel sorry for the blog either it's ok.

My life has been consisting of temping, christmas, impro, temping. And just on the horizon is more impro...another 50 hours straight in fact at this year's London Improvathon, set in 1944. This will be my fourth crazily long impro session, and i feel, and am hoping that i've reached a place where the sheer lack of sleep won't overwhelm so much that it's all i can cope with. I will miss the hysterical giggles though, that comes the first time you do this, although i'm sure everyone else will be pleased i've grown through this phase.

It really is the most amazing experience. I'm scared, excited and thrilled by it. And i will try not to let blog down and let you know how it goes.

Being Nice

2008-11-06T13:58:00.005Z

Well, i try to be nice most of the time, but it's hard isn't it? People push past you on the tube, and then they don't give up their seat for you, they don't share their Metro...OK so it seems mostly i get cross on the tube...but yesterday i felt like being kind.

I have just discovered SouleMama's beautiful blog of handmade goodness, and i saw she was asking for help for her new charity site mamatomama.org - i was kind of ignoring it as i wasn't sure what it was...but basically it's very simple, you download a template, get and old t-shirt, and make one of these adorable hats for new borns as you can see up there. Then you post them off and Amanda 'SouleMama' is sending them to Haiti as part of a safe birthing project. Since i just gained a new niece recently this felt like the least i could do. And it was surprisingly easy even for a dodgy sewer like myself.

So sometimes it's easy being nice. And fun. And involves sewing. Hmm...maybe i should never leave the house as it's easiest to do those things there...

Temping

2008-10-17T11:34:00.004+01:00

That isn't actually me you understand, but i liked her cheerieness, which isn't very common in an office environment, well sometimes it is, but it would probably be described as 'chipper' no one likes that.

So, when i'm not making stuff up or saying other people's words, i temp. It's not the worst job you can have, because it's not really a job to be honest. You're a gap that exists in a very long time span, people work there for years you're there a day, a week. You're like a puddle that they cross, they see you - you just don't affect anything. Which can be a really nice feeling, 'ooh i have no responsibilty! hooray!' that's mainly what goes through my head, no, i don't know how to do the post, no, i can't help you with archiving - i don't know how to! and there's no point showing me! If you get a job with internet access it's even more exciting, then when they ask you for help you actually feel like they're disturbing you. Someone once asked me to do some photocopying once, and i actually weighed it up, hmmm, do i want to? It took me a few seconds to realise they were being polite in asking but that i didn't really have a choice.

i don't like admitting i'm workshy, but i am. that's it really, some people relish making themselves useful, i like it when no one thinks, ooh she'll do it, she's free! Only with some things though, like photocopying or data entry.

But the weird world where no one knows your name and don't even react to you coming, is a world you can only really dip into. Any more than a month, you begin to feel like you really don't exist, surprised when they ask how you are or if they can help you, so used to being a walking cut out of a person.

Today is ok though i'm on the internet, blogging, and that can't be so bad to be paid for, can it?

Oh Canada...

2008-09-24T15:54:00.003+01:00

Well, I'm back which is the only excuse I have for not writing here for so long - I've been away. Which is a good excuse really, I went to Canada, Edmonton to be precise, and as well as hanging out with some amazing people, i took part in the 53 hour Soapathon, an improvised soap opera, playing continuously from Friday to Sunday. As i said before i took part in the London one before, so this was my second time round. And it was so different but still amazing. The Canadians are the best improvisers out there, they start in their teens, they say yes to everything and they play like happy children. It really was quite amazing to watch.

So i survived, just suffering a severe loss of reality, i though i actually met David Bowie, and my friend Paul thought that the apples he put up his arms to represent biceps were tumours. This is what happens when you don't sleep for 2 days.

But mainly i wanted to write that today i saw a man standing outside jenny burgers. i don't know how familiar you are with jenny burgers, but it is the most depressing burger restaurant in the world. There is still one in my home town clinging on to existence, they serve burgers on china plates, and Polish ladies hide in the back of the kitchen and seem to be looking at you as an escape route. Up until recently you could still smoke inside and that was the clientele's main reason for going. But there was this man, short, old and in flat cap with ubiquitous royal cigarette clinging to the side of his mouth, standing outside pondering the menu. Just pondering as if the great treats lay inside, not just burgers, or sausages in baps, he was mulling, do i want to sit in this establishment or shall i scrap up the grime from my nails and add it to some rocks for a delightful lunch?

it surprised me...maybe i'm still sleep deprived.

For the Love of Impro...

2008-09-07T22:26:00.003+01:00

Well, another confession so early, I'm also an improviser, and i make stuff up a lot, but in front of people, as opposed to just randomly lying in front of people in waitrose. And today, as on most Sundays I went to my impro group, who i love... mainly because i love impro, but also because they happen to very nice. We perform twice monthly at a theatre in London, there nice and vague for you. Which is how i met the late and great Ken Campbell...

I've been doing impro for about 3 years now, but this January i took part in The London Improvathon, where we improvised for 50 hours, with no stopping for sleep, so basically you go a bit odd. Or if you're me very very odd. I basically lost all grip on reality. i honestly couldn't tell what was real anymore, so when people were on stage i thought it was real but also that it was on television so if i shouted stuff out they wouldn't hear me. So if people got names wrong i would shout them out, and try and get involved in the scene to fix it. Needless to say i eventually got carried off stage. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. And soon i'm going to repeat this, i'm hoping that this doesn't actually drive me crazy, as in actually frothing mad, mrs rochester/mrs danvers mad. i mean it's quite romantic to be that mad isn't it, if you're in a play and your madness is visualized through dance and fast violins, but no one wants to be actual mad.

although i've often thought i'm mad, but my mum says this means i'm not, but then she also pretends to be gollum sometimes, and leaps on me saying 'precious' in her best scary voice. She also says 'tommy knockers' sometimes, as this was a scary programme that was shown here years ago, and even the advert scared me. So no chance of me going mad then...

The Dresden Dolls

2008-09-06T14:24:00.003+01:00

Well, I suppose properly, Amanda Palmer, but the Dresden Dolls is how I found them. About 2 years ago, there was a tiny piece about the dolls in the Guardian's saturday accompaniment, The Guide, describing them as Heavy-metal Brecht cabaret, i thought I might like them, and well i was right. I've since seen them in Edinburgh at the Spiegeltent, and Amanda on her own in Ed and recently at the ICA. Amanda is releasing her first solo album in September and i'm excited so i thought i'd blog and tell all those followers about her.

She's quite amazing, and everyone i know who has seen her, goes a bit odd, and glazes over when they speak about how inspirational she is. She's just one of those people with an energy pouring out of her, and i was lucky enough to meet her in Edinburgh, and she looked me straight in the eyes, and asked me how i was. That doesn't sound like much, but have you ever actually noticed how few people look you in the eyes? Properly. Or when you're talking to people you drift off and stare into a blank middle distance, as if it's easier not to really admit you're talking to someone, you're connecting with them. Well, heres her all big rock star and she looks me right in the eyes, and it's like she acknowledges you, she sees you. And that's rare i think in this busy world.

Anyway her new album is amazing, and in fact all the old albums are too. Who killed Amanda Palmer? Not me, i love her.

Rain Rain

2008-09-05T14:13:00.003+01:00

So officially it's going to rain all day. And everyone keep sayin 'ooh it's rained the equivalent of 10 days rain." " no! it is a months's rain in one hour." "lies! it is your lifetimes supply of rain happening now!".

London is always a bit rainy, but even for englanders it's been a pretty wet cold summer, sometimes in September it all cheers up and that's nice but obviously not today. So that's what the pictures for, to remind us of sunnier times. I took it in Eastbourne in July. Eastbourne is amazing, if you come to England, and you think ooh it's all very quick isn't it, well, fear not, head to Eastbourne where it is still 1955. They even have a milkbar called notaranis. And old fashioned theatres showing variety shows, there just didn't seem to be anything modern about it. In a lovely way but also a bit odd, as if they've all agreed that the future is a bit rubbish and they don't really need a starbucks anyway so let's just stick with a few shops, and jazz dancing by the bandstand. Which isn't such crazy thinking although obviously a little difficult to adjust to if you don't remember frankie valen's first album.

But i suspect even now, the sun is shining on Eastbourne. Just because they've all agreed on it. And they've got power in Eastbourne.

Lazy days

2008-09-04T22:27:00.003+01:00

Ok, so genuinely i do do stuff, but this is a quiet week as I'm going away next week and so it feels like i can't start anything until then, well that's my excuse anyway.

Things i liked today...

eating amazing Honey milk chocolate from Hotel Chocolat

reading ' i never knew that about London'

Things that were annoying...

eating with the enemy...this is not a programme this is watching how food journalists do their job, they eat stuff they discuss it, but wait what's the catch, i know let's make the people real, so when their cooking is not that great we can say, ha! it is not that great you must not really be a chef. no they're not. why are you interrogating them about jam? why have you made it look like dragon's den? why are you all clutched around a table on laptops not talking to each other? why james martin? why?

But then, then i sewed buttons onto a jumper, mock me if you like but it looks good and has made me happy. when i say mock me if you like, i mean, please don't i'm quite a neurotic woman and will find that difficult to deal with, maybe i should have said that.

anyway look look! it's pretty, i owe much inspiration to this lady...thank you!

Daytimes

2008-09-03T15:06:00.004+01:00

At the moment i don't have a proper job. i will get one, i add in quick defense but right now, i am at home, i mean i'm not doing nothing, tax and burbles count as something. but this means i sometimes watch daytime television. now don't hate me. i mean you might hate me for the job thing but sometimes people hate you just for watching telly. i think also i get in trouble because i really like television. and i'll watch anything. but i'm not stupid just clearly lacking motivation. So on my 'lunch break', (it's good to pretend structure when you don't have any) i turned on to find animal 24:7. this is a cheap programme following a few rspca officers and a man who rescues hedgehogs. now there's nothing wrong with that, but the font was my main problem. they'd put in the '24' font, as if it was a cool programme about politics and kidnapping starring a resurrected career of a good actor who had lost his way due to the excesses of the 80's. it wasn't. it was a man releasing a hedgehog. just don't pretend bbc, that's all i'm saying. i mean i know i'm not really on a lunch break and if i want to watch x factor xrta while eating a box of mini slabs of milk chocolate i can. i won''t get in trouble from my boss. because at the moment no one cares how many x factor repeats i watch, which makes me want to eat the chocolate and so on...

but don't pretend your show is anything more than 'the really wild show' for unemployed people eating chocolate, i'm the only watching it. if anyone else has it on, it must surely be because they forgot to turn the telly off and have left the room. no one is actively watching 'animal 24:7'. so be honest, it's not cool, it's nice, it's like a large bottle of rum we're all sipping, dulling our brains and warming us before we hopefully do something better. or we drink it all, cry and fall asleep. but we know we're not cool or exciting.

Kings and Clowns

2008-09-02T16:55:00.003+01:00

Well, i have broke my rule already... but i contest that i couldn't get to a 'puter yesterday and today was very slow so i can do 2 days in one. Yesterday was odd, i found out that Ken Campbell passed away on Sunday. I only met Ken in January of this year, but had done some work with him and met his dogs since then. He was quite a soul, he could be difficult and grumpy but he was always inspired, and full of the best stories. Walking his 3 dogs with him in Epping forest while he told me how he'd rescued one of them from certain death for biting a policeman, and how another used to belong to gypsies and was trained to steal, was an amazing experience. And as he threw 4 balls into the air, shouting, "3 dogs 4 balls!' over and over again, he looked so happy and pleased with himself. And that's how i remember him, happy and in a sunny forest.

Which i think is a good memory to have.

I also saw a reading of Kathy Acker's work directed by a friend of mine, it was really interesting, especially as i'm really not familiar with her work, but she seemed another person who saw the world their way, which is always like a burst of energy flying towards you.

Today i walked a puppy through a different forest and talked a lot to the man i love.

Which is a good memory to have.

Sundays being someone else

2008-08-31T22:43:00.002+01:00

Well, look at me, being all good and trying to keep this...so today was good. Woke up with my usual lack of desire to leave the house, which is bizarre because when i don't leave it i go odd, so you'd think that would spur me, but anyway... leave i did. And i went to a reading, because what i haven't yet admitted is i'm an actor. or actress. but i digress.

So i did a reading at a posh place of a very good script, which made me pay attention, and that is an achievement. and was interesting. and challenging. which is pretty hard for a script being read in a big grey room, however pretty the view from the window.

Also i am reading The Princess Bride. Which at first i thought i didn't like. But it distracted me the whole tube ride home, which is an hour, it's very simple, and you fall into it really. I like books that allow you to do that, gently disappear into the pages, as if just popping out to the shops, so reality floats lightly away for well, for an hour.

Then i watched dogs on telly... is there anything better, apart from actual dogs?

first posts

2008-08-30T12:51:00.002+01:00

Well, i thought about this for ages, and now i'm here. Too late i feel. Blogs were actually cool ages ago, but i didn't know that so i'm here now. Like someone who just turned up for the celebration of the end of the cold war, or a lady looking out of a Hammershoi painting. But i'm here now, so let's not fuss.

I intend to write here a bit, about some stuff that makes me think or laugh or maybe even cry. I mean i wouldn't want to be any different to other blogs, that would be scary. So instead i'm going to use this like an online diary, but not write what i really think in case the people i hate read it. if you're reading this, you're one of the ones i like. But obviously i could be lying.

I hope you like this. I hope I keep it up too. Happy days.